Should we stay or should we go?

The kids and I hadn't been to noon Mass since last summer.  I typically don't like going to this Mass, because the church echoes everything, and I feel like one movement by one child sounds like a million distractions.  To add a bit of fuel to the fire, it was going to be noon and we were about to bring a tired baby and toddler, a couple active preschoolers and 5 other kids who usually do well, but still have movable parts, and need to be reminded to keep their hands and feet to themselves. Well, I gave in and decided to give it another try.  All the while thinking, why am I setting myself up for punishment, yet praying that it would go well.

On the way, we hit every red light possible.  Then got stuck behind a semi unloading in single lane traffic downtown. As I kept looking at the clock, all I could think was, well, we're late now, we might as well not go.  After saying that so many times in my head, I think it slipped out once.  Then I heard the reply, "Well if you don't want to go, why are we all going!" I was getting a bit frustrated, and was seriously debating to make a detour to the library. This child was right.  Why were we going?  We were inevitably late, the timing was poor for the littles, the bigs didn't want to be there, and I was beginning to think it's not worth the effort to distract everyone coming in nearly ten minutes late with an apathetic brood. But I kept going.

I drove by the church to pull into the parking lot, only to notice that the lot was being resurfaced.  Guess we were not going to park there.  In my head, that was my out to turn around and go home.  I thought, 'Really, Lord, do You not want us here either?' I wrestled with what to do. We were late.  It's not worth it. But I really do want to visit, and the kids, well, they are kids; learning what is good for them.  I pulled into another lot, parked and calmly reminded the kids we had to be quick and quiet.  For the first time in his young life, my two year old whispers back, "Like this mom." That was all the consolation I needed.  With a smile, a prayer and a welled up eye, we went in.

Mass was beautiful, the kids were exceptionally well behaved. I was overwhelmed with amazement. God graced us: our poor, weak selves were overtaken by his gentle, loving strength. You see, He does want us there, and even though we have stop signs, blocked paths and resistance on the road, He is ready to love us and allows us to abide in Him, and He with us. We need only to show the effort and He'll come in to complete us; rescuing us from our wretched ways. It reminds me of the the song "Set the World on Fire" by Britt Nicole:

I wanna set the world on fire

Until it's burning bright for You

It's everything that I desire

Can I be the one You use?

[CHORUS]

I, I am small but

You, You are big enough

I, I am weak but

You, You are strong enough to

Take my dreams

Come and give them wings

Lord with You

Nothing I can not do

Nothing I cannot do

Celebrating Catholic Schools

Well, it was this time last year that I wrote an email which became the 'beginning' of my blogging days.  It just took a little over a month to make it happen.  If you're interested, I decided to post it.  It is dated on the Feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul (in commeration) :)  The plan was to post it back then, but it's up and running now!


This year's kick off to Catholic School's Week has not been as exciting, but still notoriously filled with active children.  A 3 year old yelling across the alter, towards the choir members, in the silence following the Alleluia, "Hi Gabrielle!!" and waving, then saying, "I love you!"  Then looking at me as I'm trying to get her to stop and stating, "But I see Gabrielle and I love her!"  We then had to reposition her so she would not sneak out into the isle to dance during the songs. However, she wasn't the only child in our family that got repositioned!  


We also had a cry-er, due to big brother's strong hands not remaining to himself. And a stealthy 2 year old who managed to crawl under the pew and run out in the communion isle, not once, but 3 times.  At that moment, I was really wishing I could have sat closer to him, because sometimes, his Daddy just doesn't notice these things - obviously. 


Today was simply a typical Mass experience (more or less): corrections, smiles, tears, movement, peace, listening, speaking, singing and dancing - sounds like a typical family to me.  This evening, I'll be reading the readings again; somehow I missed them today.  But really, what would this celebration with God's family be like without the gift of children - probably less distracting, but also less meaningful!  


"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these." -Matthew, Mark and Luke!

Daily Conversion

So, it has been a year since I wrote the following short story.  It was the story that made people ask if I was blogging.  After saying No, no, no, no, no...

You get the picture, I finally gave in and said Yes. I made a leap of faith and to this day, by the grace of God, continue to give it a try.  The best thing it has done for me is force me to write things down - and take pictures.  History in the making so to speak.  It's a glimpse of our life story.  I've been able to share what I'm working on in my vocation of marriage and motherhood: its joys, challenges, and random life lessons.  And I've been able to read other life stories.  You see, we are never alone, and I guess that's the point of this blog.

1-25-09

What a beautiful Sunday morning (until I got out of bed!)  Maybe that was the problem? Dad was out the door early to round at the hospital so he could meet us at church. I needed to get Kathryn, Gabrielle and Michael up to church early so they could help with the Catholic Schools Week Mass!  Kathryn, going on 14, forgot that she had to sing in the choir.  We woke her up to remind her, but then she forgot to get out of bed-yes, teenager!  Gabrielle came into our bathroom on Mom's orders so I could help her comb her hair. She is 11, but doesn't seem to think bed head is an issue when you go up to read in front of everyone at Mass.  She thought it would be a good time to come into the bathroom as I was puking in the sink, and exclaim, "Isn't there a toilet?"  Yes, there was, but it was sat upon by another child.  The particular scent is what quickly pushed me to the sink. 

I got myself together, did Gabrielle's hair, got the toilet occupant cleaned up, and yelled down at Kathryn, again. Hmm, no answer.  Gabrielle helped Gina get dressed, and I woke up the boys.  Michael was not so happy about it.  I removed Vincent's diaper, and was preparing to get him dressed.  The diaper was placed next to us.  I did not take the time to roll it up yet because he was poopy and I was still wiping the stinky guy.  My plan: keep the poopy mess all rolled up together for one trip outside! Michael however had a different plan.  He thought it was a good idea to toss it onto the floor.  Nonchalantly, I told him he was lucky it didn't spill out (maybe that was my mistake). Since he was able to get it to the floor, I told him he could now take it to the garbage for me.  Well, that literally backfired!  He took it into the other boys’ room and slammed it against the wall (near the garbage).  Maybe he thought it was a bank shot?  Shi+ was smeared everywhere!  I wasn't so happy, no, I'll be honest, I was madly out of control.  After a "little" beating, I continued to get the rest of the crew ready. (FYI, after the fact, Michael told Dad, "I threw it at the air and didn't think it would get all over." - yes, he threw it at the air!)

Now I'm sure some may know where this is going: the nice big Catholic family getting ready for Mass this morning was not so nice!  Kathryn got an earful on the way to church, with a bit of pedal to the metal driving.  “Responsibilities, being a part of a family, you name, it came out of my mouth.  Thanks, Michael, this needed to be done – but not in the fashion I took.  As I pulled up to church, I came to my senses a bit, remembering where we were going to be soon, "I love you!  See you shortly!"  Kathryn rolled her eyes. I don’t blame her, I wasn’t exactly the most loving person for that ~5 minute tank ride.  

I got back home, Luke evidently was playing smart and helped more than he ever has before. He continued to tell me all about it. (He better get on my good side, today ;) )  "Mom, I helped John get dressed, and got Daniel's clothes for him."  As Daniel was buttoning his shirt, he says, "Mom, something's wrong here."  I look at him, and immediately go to the closet to give him another shirt! (The one Luke gave him was hanging in the closet waiting for Vincent to wear it.)  The long sleeves fit Daniel like 3/4, and the shirt barely covered his belly button!)  Now if anyone was going to be dressed as the Incredible Hulk, I can guarantee you it was not him today!  Ok, the boys are almost finished getting ready -I've calmed down, and we are going to make it to church on time!  Ut oh, John can't find his shoes.  Everyone else says they have theirs on.  “Well, wear the tennis shoes, we don't have time to look anymore.  This is why we put our shoes back in the closet after church!”  We are loaded, and ready.  We climb into the pew all happy!  As everyone settled in their spots, I went to tie Daniel's shoes.  Guess what, he had on John's!  Evidently Daniel was the one I was supposed to inform of the proper location for his church shoes.  A big sigh! We're here God, if you want to vomit me out, I can understand!

Church went well!  Gina was singing, John was singing - together they were louder than everyone else.  Aren't we so cute?  After Mass we went down to a pancake breakfast put on by the 8th Grade class.  Yes, Kathryn DID remember she was in 8th grade, and was going to help with it!  Thank God, I was beginning to wonder if she had Alzheimer's at such an early age!  After we ate, Kathryn and I helped serve the next round, and Dad was to take the rest of the kids back home.  Ut oh, no Gina.  “Anyone seen Gina?  Go look for Gina.  Check the elevator.” (God, I hope she wasn't attending another Mass upstairs).  That prayer was answered the way I wanted!  Bob checked the bathrooms (which I didn't think she could open the door to).  Yep, Gina is in the girl’s bathroom!  Gabrielle went in to get her.  "No potty, just poop." Just POOP -on the back of her tights, and in the bathroom: on the floor, on the toilet, the walls...Ugh!  What is it with shi+ today?

Kathryn and I finally got home. Gabrielle was fighting with Luke.  Dad now understands how this can wear on a person.  Gabrielle has an amazing affect on people – she has the power to make you happy and the power to bring everyone down.  Why we give her this power, I don't know, but it happens.  I began to think about taking back what I said when I dropped her off at church.  A bit later in the day, she wanted to make cookies.  The first pan of peanut butter cookies came out very brown (to go with the “poop” theme of the day?).  As I told her she needs to pay attention to the recipe and how long she should cook them, she stated, “I’m sorry, I’m doing the best I can.”  My quick reply, “God Help Me, then!”  Yes, I said that to her precious face.  At first it was sarcastic, but a few seconds later it was a heartfelt prayer!  As she finished up, she decided she had enough dough to make one more cookie.  The last cookie was the size of a waffle!  She made it for Luke.  To tell him she was sorry – after fighting all day, she suddenly snapped out of it.  Ashamedly, this sounds a bit familiar for me, too.

So, dear family, what did you do to me?  As I reflect on the day, I think how ironic that today is the feast of the conversion of St. Paul.  Many of us reenacted it in our own home.  Today, you taught me about conversion!  From ravage, to mercy, to love.  I'm glad I got out of bed!  I'm glad I got to witness conversion of heart; both as an active witness and an eye witness. That is what life is all about: Constant conversion.  Every sin overcome, every new turn to God.  On any given day, someone is the forgiver AND someone is the forgiven – Yes, that someone is both!

Living Water

I got home from Mass this morning, and read this from Daily with DeSales this afternoon:

April 23

My God, if we were to grasp heavenly inspirations in all their fullness and power, we would make great progress in virtue in a very short time. No matter how abundant the source of the water is, the water does not enter the garden in proportion to the source but in proportion to the canal that carries it. In the same way, the Holy Spirit, as a source of living water, surrounds our heart on all sides to scatter His grace according to His pleasure, but He does not want to enter the heart without the free consent of our will or without our cooperation. (T.L.G. Book 2, Ch. 11; O. IV, p. 121)

Ok, so I just realized the date was for yesterday - but like usual, I am running behind! I'm glad God understands this. ;)

Anyway, this morning was one of those mornings I thought would be great.

I was up and ready, took Kathryn to school, brought her back home to get the cookies she forgot for Math, took her back to school. 25 minutes of my time - gone. I was hoping to have that time to get the rest of the crew up and ready for school and Mass. On the drive home, I prayed for extra angels to help my children get ready quickly and happily. It happened! It WAS great!

The others got off to school in time, and I made it to Mass. Right before the entrance song, Daniel exclaims he needs to go to the bathroom, followed by Gina. I waited, I thought he went before we left, I know Gina went. Then, I smelled Vincent. Off to the bathroom we went - the kids thought it was Great!

I went to change Vincent. NO diaper or wipes in the diaper bag. I did however have 1 spare princess pull-up that had been sitting in there for about 6 months. It came into use (without Gina's knowledge) along with paper towels provided by the church. I thought that was great!

John wanted to sit by me in church, so did Gina and obviously Vincent got lap priority, along with the babe within. (By the way, I am wondering where the babe is going to fit the next 3 months of growing into. Maybe it is just me, but I am already feeling a bit expanded...) So a little fight broke out between John and Gina in church, which led to John's tears. He quieted down quickly - God is Great.

We get ready to go to Communion, everyone walked nicely - until we got 2 pews away from Father. Gina collapsed on the floor, all of the sudden wanting to be held. Vincent in left arm, babe in center, and Gina in right arm. I'm sure we were quite the sight. Maybe I should not have tried to come today, but they were doing so well! Gina lost her shoe on the floor where she collapsed, and I left it. We will get it after Mass. I smile at Father, received my Strong Lord, and continued on. We get back to our seats, and a dear friend held Vincent as I helped Gina calm down. Another older lady brought Gina's shoe back to us. Amidst the trial, it was Great.

This is where the daily reading comes in: as I thirsted for a drink of the Living Water, my thirst was quenched - flowing in by the gifts of those around me. Thank you. And, though I may have times when I think I can make it in this world alone, I thank God for grace of each other. There are many times I need to cooperate more freely, but I thank God for you - all of you whom God has placed in my life: You keep me smiling, which creates another canal and flows over to the next thirsting soul.

"The smile on your face lets me know that you need me. There is a Truth within!" -author unknown

Have a blessed Friday!

-Maria

Distractions?

Ever wonder if your children are a distraction at Mass?  

Usually I wonder, today, I KNEW!

Peace be with you; Peace be with you; I love you; Peace be with you...

Why is a third of the parish family chuckling quietly?

I still don't know for sure. However, I do know 2 of my children caused their laughter.

Gina was prostrate at the alter in the front row, center isle.  If John wasn't trying to drag her back to where we were sitting, I would have thought, 'oh, someone is preparing for final vows, already.' I motioned John to come back without her, then walked over to help her back to our seat.  All eyes and sounds were on us.  I smiled as I went to help her up - she however, turned into a limp doll.  Vincent in one arm, Gina dragged in the other (a little better than what John could do).  We are back in our seats.  Holding back the tears, and then holding back the chuckle myself as I assessed the damage in my mind.  

Damage:  My pride!

Thanks be to God  ;)