This is my morning prayer. But as I was thinking this morning, do I really give God my life everyday? This past week, I am realizing that I am abandoning more - so evidently I have been hiding some things from Him. I realized last week that there is one (of probably a multitude) part of my life that still needed healing. It was found through the gift of a friend. In helping her, God has helped me! Funny how that works. Maybe I haven't helped her, maybe it was more so for my good, but I have experienced another mini conversion.
As I wrote to this friend, I could sense Jesus telling me, "I thought you gave me your life. Why won't you let me in this part? Do you not trust me? What is there to hide from the all knowing God? On whose terms are you giving me your life?"
Evidently for a while, it has been on my terms. I'll give you everything except this part. It's ugly, not perfect. You wouldn't want this part of me anyway.
That is where I was wrong. Jesus wants every part of us. There is nothing we can hide. We can choose not to let Him in, consciously or subconsciously, but we can not hide it! God is too good at this game! He knows its there, and begs us to let Him notice. He wants to heal us, take the ugliness away and make it pure.
In the Gospel of John, chapter 5, we hear that Jesus was healing at the water. He noticed a man that had been ill for many years, and asked him, "Do you want to be well?" The sick man came back with excuses, "I have no one to put me in the water. When I am on my way, someone always gets there first." Jesus said to him, "Rise, pick up your mat and walk." Immediately the man became well.
Jesus knows our illnesses, weaknesses, excuses, but He still wishes to heal us, even today, with the water pouring forth from his side. His love and mercy are poured out faster than we can even think of it! Trust Him. Trust that He wants to see every part of us, most especially the parts we want to hide. He knows it is there and that is the part of us He wants most! Give it to Him, so that He may give you the Love, Peace, Strength and Courage that we so desperately need. If we truly give our lives to God, our weaknesses are our greatest asset. For it is when we are weak that Christ must work.
We need never to be alone, for He is always with us. And as someone continues to remind me, the angels and saints are cheering us on. Allow them to protect and guide you - continually bringing you back to Jesus for nourishment and healing.
Lord have mercy on us, for we know not what we do!